Hey-Hey! Happy V-Day 2012!

you'd think that with that super perky title that i'm in such a great mood due to my hot man i have by my side.

but oh contrare...

i don't have a hot man.

but i'll tell you what i do have. a LOT.

okay so i'm gonna open up here...really briefly...

this past sunday i felt like i really messed up. my emotions were all jacked up thanks to that blessing of womanhood approaching every month...hey i'm thankful that means i can have babies someday...

annnyway, so i just got really upset...overreacted...i reacted out of my past instead of reacting out of my present-God's everlasting unchanging truth...make sense? anyway, i felt so lame yesterday. mad. at myself really.

and it sucked that saturday i felt so liberated and aware of God's truth...so fast-foward to last night...i turned off the telly and decided i wanted to read and be reminded of God's love for me because somehow i lack revelation..so i started reading this chapter from this book titled passion for JEsus...and it talked about how committed and devoted God is to me...how even in my immaturity, He sees me as lovely and delightful and beautiful...

frog. in. throat.

so out of heaven, i was gonna say "out of nowhere.." but i know it's out of heaven...all this love gushed through the walls of my guarded heart...it's like a hoover dam busted...i cried and i cried and i cried.

how could this God of the universe love me? i'm so messed up. i'm overweight. i wear makeup to hide my zits. i'm not a neat and tighty person. i don't cook. i'm selfish.

but yet He loves me. and not because he needs to...but because He chooses to.

God's love makes me cry.

i feel like i got a love bath last night.

God's love is so cleansing.

i pray this love continues to stir me into a more fervent radical lover of God.

that's it.

happy v-day y'all!

How CRAY-CRAY!! Right?!!

and how can i not post about it...

Whitney Houston's been a huge "American Idol" since the 80's when I grew up and I still can't believe she was pronounced dead at 3:55pm yesterday...

I'm sure lots of people hit rewind through their day to remember where they were at and what they were doing at about 3:55pm yesterday...i was at home, eating, watching "addicted to love" because it was all that was good on the telly...

it's like when princess diana died...or when i found out about heath ledger...heath was the only one i cried over...

how could i grieve over people i've never met?? i mean, it doesn't make sense, right?

well, even though i was never a part of their lives, i let them into my life...growing up into adulthood...their songs/careers created the soundtracks to so many moments of my life...

like right now, i can tell you that whitney houston's "i wanna dance with somebody" is a song that reminds me of my best roommate ever, brandy wahlman. she created this mix that we'd listen to almost every time we were in her car which included that whitney houston song along with eye of the tiger.. great memories...

what tears me up about this is that the enemy goes around like a fangless lion still devouring lives...when i heard of whitney's death, the thought "another one bites the dust..." came to mind...did she give her life to Jesus at the last minute like we all hope....i don't know. you don't know. ok. so none of us know. God does.

and as sad as all this news is, makes me think, ok. God wants our focus to be on Him. the stuff that concerns Him needs to concern us. people die every day. rockstars and non-rockstars...

we all need Jesus. i'm not trying to make this some super Christian blog but JEsus is JEsus. I'm not gonna abbreviate His name to make Him sound cool or more appealing or less offensive.

point blank, eternity is the focus here. death sucks. but i appreciate the reminder that it is.

am i living for what matters most? am i keeping the main thing, the main thing?

Jesus. His grace. His forgiveness. His life. His Spirit. His power. His is ours. He's what we're all searching for, longing for...it's Him.

hello 2012...a month late...hahaha

wow. if this blog were my child i'd be reported for neglect to cps by now...

alrighty...let's get straight to it..

started this year off sick...sinus nasal congestion, throatiness and after 3 weeks, i had a week of no sickness and now i'm sick again...

booo!

and the sad part is i don't lose my appetite! haha.. i still eat! i was craving egg drop soup the other day so i ordered away...along with some fwied wice! ;-)

being sick again, i was sent home from work because who wants to hear a man sounding raspy voice on the radio? not meeeeeeee...so i went to a walk-in clinic...finally! used my health insurance cahhh-d, first time! it actually worked! got me some antibiotics!

being home from wednesday to thursday gave me a taste of what a stay-at-home wife/mom gets to see on the telly....and honestly, the only shows i'm diggin' are "the view," "the nate berkus show," and "the ellen show." i loooove ellen!

anyway, no offense but i couldn't handle being a stay-at-home anything...like, today, i was still sick but who wants to stay at home all day? not me!! i got up, got my hair did, makeup on, pink lips, plaid coat and silver toms! i was eager to get back to work..sort of....it's such a drag having to blow my nose every 7 seconds, or having to gag out phlegm...gross, i know...

at least i felt cute. got some work done and came back home. in bed. laptop on my lap and the ellen show's coming up! hahaha...i can't wait for the grammy's this sunday!! woohoo!!

phlegm and grammy's,

your leslie on the radio...well off the radio until i get better!

:-)