Music, Coffee Shop, The Holidays

i love all the christmas decor. i love the music. sitting in a coffee shop is cozy. it makes for a bloggy mood.

i'm single and i think now i have a healthy dose of alone time.

before, i think i had too much time alone that it sort of made me resent married couples. bad. i know.

most people thought it weird that an outgoing girl like myself was having trouble connecting. there were single people i knew but no real connections.

it's easy to automatically point the finger at me. i even did. i would ask God what was wrong with me. i missed my nashville friends so much.

the only explanation i have is that it was a season God wanted me to grow through. this was the season of me being a student.

i don't think i made all the right choices to fully grow in that season but i'm still thankful for the stuff i did grow in.

spiritually, i don't think i've grown too much. i take full responsibility for that. i know i could make more of an effort but havent. well, not until now.

the people i'm surrounded by are all about their faith. they live it, so it makes me wanna live it. it's been like a week that i've not been so livin' it. by that i mean, like, i haven't watered the plants. no bible, yes some prayer but slackin'. i don't want to wake up earlier than i already have to. guess my flesh is king these days. i get home and i want to be lulled by the television. i don't even have the good cable.

excuses excuses. that bothers me. something else that bothers me is something that happened last night. i went to a cell-group and as an ice breaker we bounced a ball of questions around. my question was "what/who would you give your life for?" the christian answer would be "Jesus." I said it. honestly i've not thought about that. i don't wanna just say something because it's proper or because it's the christian response. i wanna say i would die for JEsus because i know in my heart without a doubt. would i sacrifice all for Him? if someone were to put a gun to my head and ask me to deny Jesus exists, i'd argue back with the truth that He does but do i have all the ammunition to defend myself? oh man, i'm waaaay over analyzing here...remember colombine? "do you believe in God?" basically, if i said "yes," i wanna die for saying "yes" from the bottom of my heart. that's all my drama these days..

Thanks and Giving...

just realized this holiday is made up of 2 verbs back to back. interesting.

people usually say "thanks" after you give them something.

some people give things as a way of saying "thank you."

anyway, it's now a little over a month that i've been working at the q99.7, a new radio station in feeding hills, mass. october was a bit extra stressful due to the annual pledge drive to raise money so we can stay on the air. i'm still learning where everything's at.

there are days i stay late just catching up. i'm on the morning show and on mid-days. i'm supposed to do office work in between and i guess after. this tires me. but i'm not here to complain. i'm thankful i have this job. this is what i've always dreamed of doing. if i don't get rest, too bad. i'm gonna stick it through. i'm gonna fight.

first time in my life i only have to worry about cleaning my toilet and no one else's.

first time in my life i get to sleep in on the weekends.

first time in my life i have a set schedule 5 days out of the week.

first time i get to talk and encourage on 2 shows in one day every day!

first time i get to be a part of those "work meetings" every week.

first time i get to live on my own in a city that experiences all 4 seasons.

first time i get to make coffee because i want to, not because i have to.

i get to give encouragement to people who've grown up without it.

i get to know those people that are usually portrayed on movies like home alone and all those east-coast-ish based movies. i'm living in the midst of it.

so anyway, i'm thankful and i don't wanna forget all this when things get stressful...i love that my work place allows me to stop, ask for prayer/encouragement to go on and do the best that i can do. that's my goal. i want to do my best. best part about this job is that it's FUN!!

p.s. if you like the picture i posted, you can find more at http://www.epiclifecreative.com/