i love all the christmas decor. i love the music. sitting in a coffee shop is cozy. it makes for a bloggy mood.
i'm single and i think now i have a healthy dose of alone time.
before, i think i had too much time alone that it sort of made me resent married couples. bad. i know.
most people thought it weird that an outgoing girl like myself was having trouble connecting. there were single people i knew but no real connections.
it's easy to automatically point the finger at me. i even did. i would ask God what was wrong with me. i missed my nashville friends so much.
the only explanation i have is that it was a season God wanted me to grow through. this was the season of me being a student.
i don't think i made all the right choices to fully grow in that season but i'm still thankful for the stuff i did grow in.
spiritually, i don't think i've grown too much. i take full responsibility for that. i know i could make more of an effort but havent. well, not until now.
the people i'm surrounded by are all about their faith. they live it, so it makes me wanna live it. it's been like a week that i've not been so livin' it. by that i mean, like, i haven't watered the plants. no bible, yes some prayer but slackin'. i don't want to wake up earlier than i already have to. guess my flesh is king these days. i get home and i want to be lulled by the television. i don't even have the good cable.
excuses excuses. that bothers me. something else that bothers me is something that happened last night. i went to a cell-group and as an ice breaker we bounced a ball of questions around. my question was "what/who would you give your life for?" the christian answer would be "Jesus." I said it. honestly i've not thought about that. i don't wanna just say something because it's proper or because it's the christian response. i wanna say i would die for JEsus because i know in my heart without a doubt. would i sacrifice all for Him? if someone were to put a gun to my head and ask me to deny Jesus exists, i'd argue back with the truth that He does but do i have all the ammunition to defend myself? oh man, i'm waaaay over analyzing here...remember colombine? "do you believe in God?" basically, if i said "yes," i wanna die for saying "yes" from the bottom of my heart. that's all my drama these days..
i'm single and i think now i have a healthy dose of alone time.
before, i think i had too much time alone that it sort of made me resent married couples. bad. i know.
most people thought it weird that an outgoing girl like myself was having trouble connecting. there were single people i knew but no real connections.
it's easy to automatically point the finger at me. i even did. i would ask God what was wrong with me. i missed my nashville friends so much.
the only explanation i have is that it was a season God wanted me to grow through. this was the season of me being a student.
i don't think i made all the right choices to fully grow in that season but i'm still thankful for the stuff i did grow in.
spiritually, i don't think i've grown too much. i take full responsibility for that. i know i could make more of an effort but havent. well, not until now.
the people i'm surrounded by are all about their faith. they live it, so it makes me wanna live it. it's been like a week that i've not been so livin' it. by that i mean, like, i haven't watered the plants. no bible, yes some prayer but slackin'. i don't want to wake up earlier than i already have to. guess my flesh is king these days. i get home and i want to be lulled by the television. i don't even have the good cable.
excuses excuses. that bothers me. something else that bothers me is something that happened last night. i went to a cell-group and as an ice breaker we bounced a ball of questions around. my question was "what/who would you give your life for?" the christian answer would be "Jesus." I said it. honestly i've not thought about that. i don't wanna just say something because it's proper or because it's the christian response. i wanna say i would die for JEsus because i know in my heart without a doubt. would i sacrifice all for Him? if someone were to put a gun to my head and ask me to deny Jesus exists, i'd argue back with the truth that He does but do i have all the ammunition to defend myself? oh man, i'm waaaay over analyzing here...remember colombine? "do you believe in God?" basically, if i said "yes," i wanna die for saying "yes" from the bottom of my heart. that's all my drama these days..
1 comment:
Hey sweet girl! I love to see how the Lord is always tugging on your heart strings. What a beautiful journey.
Please do come visit in Nashville! Lily wants to meet you in a short few weeks!
Love you, friend!
-Mandy
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