S E X.

this topic is one i've always avoided.

it's the one "you just don't talk about."

but God created it, right?

so it's not bad.

just like anything, i guess it gets abused.

so lately i hear a lot of jokes. sexual ones. usually about penis-this or that. it's sooo common.

it makes me wonder if something's wrong with me for squirming at the sound of the word itself.

so today i was just wondering if there were people who would make sex jokes back in bible times.

you think so?

well, david, the man after God's own heart, was also a man whore. i don't know if men were crude back in the day.

today it just seems like guys are defining manhood with crudeness.

it grosses me out.

i don't wanna hear about penises. i don't wanna hear about vaginas.

can't we just be cool without all that extra info.?

i'm trying to dig for a reason why people have a need to bring up sex??? why? what's the point? why is it something funny? i don't understand why it's funny.

it's a good thing. it's almost like an art piece to me. granted i haven't crossed that path yet, i imagine it's something personal and kinda like a diamond at tiffany's.

i mean, who jokes about a diamond? it just doesn't make sense.

but there i am in the midst of somekind of sex talk at work.

am i curious? yes but i think the stuff i don't know, i don't need to know yet. i mean, my life is fine without knowing that stuff yet.

until i have a husband, then i guess some tips from a few of my closest friends would do.

i wish i could talk about this more openly so that maybe you could see where i'm coming from. but it's awkward.

i mean, if my own brothers were to tell me penis jokes, how disgusting would that be? i'd freak! why would we even go there?? or why would i tell them sex jokes?

i don't want to be prude here but seriously, i think life is full of bloopers outside of sex and body parts.

all this is my response after watching the movie, "funny people." i compromised and watched the entire movie even though certain parts made me feel uncomfortable. "well i covered my eyes" or "i tried not to hear..." but there i sat.

i guess part of me was curious and the other part of me was wanting for my mainstream friend to be comfortable with me. i don't want to be the friend that you can't watch this with. i want her to feel like she can be herself with me without worrying about offending me. i took a risk. i hope my friend saw that.

is it possible to feel uncomfortable without feeling convicted? or am i trying to justify this?

what was the outcome?

well, my friend had a great time with me! she's had a rough life up to this point and i wanted her to be able to laugh and be at ease with someone who loves her unconditionally. she's a victim of domestic violence/abuse and so anyway...

i hope i made the right decision.